I am a trashy cuckold phone sex slut. What does that mean? I like big dick but I like to party too. I was partying with these guys last night in my trailer. They had some good coke. Sadly, they didn’t have some good cock. I joked that my Elf on a Shelf was better hung then them. They were mouthy with me. Called me an old drunken coke whore. Tried to tell me that if they were good enough to do lines with they were good enough to fuck. I was fucked up, but I have never been so fucked up that I settled for some scrawny ass little wiener. I am a cock size queen. Always will be. I pushed them off me, walked over to the fire place and grabbed my Elf on the Shelf. I fucked my old pussy with a Christmas doll in front of them to humiliate them. That fucking Elf on a Shelf felt pretty good up my twat with his long legs and pointy hat. A fucking novelty doll was more of a man than those two ass holes. They got up like they were going to try to force fuck me with their pin dicks. I laughed, stood up and swung at them with the Elf on a Shelf. They tumbled, fell to the ground. That’s when I showed them I meant business about cock size. I sodomized their worthless asses with that damn Elf on a Shelf. I think the little guy enjoyed being up those losers’ sphincters. I swear the doll was grinning more than usual every time I pulled him out. Those boys were whining like little babies. Threatened to call the cops on me. I told them go ahead. I will just tell the police they tried to force fuck me with shrimp dicks so I defended myself. What self respecting man would want to tell the police they got an ass whopping from a cougar and an ELf of a Shelf?
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